Note to Self

by Marci


The interior of our cabin, a couple of days after we moved in.

The interior of our cabin, a couple of days after we moved in.

Life goes by so quickly. Moments that I swore never to forget I’ve forgotten already. Memory is fickle like that. I’ve always admired those people who keep journals. I’ve tried dozens of times but given up after feeling overwhelmed and behind in my journaling time and time again. Instead, I take thousands of pictures. Pictures I rarely look at again but sentimentally cling to because one day I may want to remember even those small moments like that perfect taco al pastor in Tulum.

Recently I came upon a list that I jotted down from the first several months living in the cabin. Occasionally I’ll do this because I do love making lists. Unlike an elaborate journal entry, a list is more like a footnote and there is less pressure to make it good, to elaborate, to accurately depict the exact mood of the moment. Then again maybe I expect too much of myself when it comes to journaling.

Barely a year has passed since Caleb and I pulled a few of our belongings in on the sled and camped inside of our very unfinished cabin. Part of the drywall was up and we were sleeping on the floor on a very cold air mattress. We didn’t have power or running water for quite a while. And honestly, it was an adventure of our own making and fun. Most if the time. Here’s the list of those first few months cabining.

“Don’t forget:

The first week getting ready for work by candlelight and singeing my bangs.

Our fist meal in the cabin.

Caleb putting my first temporary kitchen together and the shower and having it all set up for me when I got home.

The surrealness of hiking out to the truck in the early morning to go to work.

Blowdrying my hair with the dryer plugged into an extension cord on the floor.

My first attempt at bread on the squirrel wood stove – inedible but I learned I could make bread!

The first successful loaf tasting like heaven – Caleb, David, and I nearly ate the whole loaf.

The first week getting the truck really stuck in the landing. That was the end of driving up for a while.

The first time I saw a deer in our yard and how magical that was. Caleb named her Carla.

Waking up to a 42 degree cabin.

Studying in the uninsulated, doorless, windowless ( except in the changing room) sauna in January with hot chocolate and the little buddy propane heater. My nose was so cold but my shins were burning from the heater. Bill was mudding and Caleb working.

My first snowshoe and chickadees came so close I could have touched them. I felt like Snow White.

Getting up at 5am to take the pregnancy test – twice! Finding out I was pregnant on my birthday. Going for a snowshoe that day and feeling so joyful and elated that even Caleb being sick in bed couldn’t change that.”

A year after we moved into the cabin.  Our family.

A year after we moved into the cabin. Our family.